People are Funny Like That

This is probably a little crude… but I wrote it anyway. It’s meant to be lighthearted (more so than anything else I’ve written or posted so far.)

He’s been dancing between
The same five stools at the bar
For the last three hours.
Calling to a waitress for beer,
increasingly ridiculous
nicknames, swaying
like he’s riding a buoy
in the middle of the ocean.

His car has long since been towed;
Lucky for him, the dumb shit,
Probably would have tried to drive anyway.
On his way to the bathroom he takes a wrong turn,
His eyesight too blurry to think the skirt
On the little stick figure is anything
Other than an apron — the stick figure
is obviously working the grill. A slurred
“Kissss, kihssss, kisshth th’ cookh,”
And drunken giggles as he stumbles over
To the bathroom sink, that funny-
Looking urinal that’s been laid flat
When it should be low against the wall,
Hung like a framed picture of… a urinal.
He climbs up on the counter anyway,
Muttering something about poor design planning, and does his business.

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